The Soccer Team

"We have something very important to discuss," I tell the sweaty, red-faced shorties on my soccer team.

"Guys! Come on in! I need you to listen for a couple minutes!"

"Please take your soccer balls out of your shirts! We're not playing the "Mommy's Knocked Up Again" game right now. We'll play that later."

"This is important. We need a team name."

"How about The Stripes?" a towering 6 year old says.

"Yeah, The Stripes," seconds another.

Unimpressed with their creativity, I ask, "does anyone like Star Wars?"

Charlie's fingertips touch the clouds.

"How about the R2s?" Charlie says, the excitement building in his voice.

I sell the R2s (R2-D2s) to the rest of the team, going way over the top with how cool a name it is. Most are onboard, but one kid isn't going for it.

"Don't you like Star Wars?"

"No!"

"Do you like robots?"

"No!"

"Androids?"

"No!"

"George Lucas's not so subtle thematic reference to Nazi Germany?"

"No!"

"Well, what do you like?"

"I like rocket ships," the sunburned boy says with a lisp.

"Close enough."

"OK boys, we're the R2-D2s!"

OK, so I rigged the vote. Not the most democratic process, but tough. My kid is out there lugging a pump around his waist, stopping for fun "blood breaks" and hauling ass at 414 mg/dl. I'm the coach. If Charlie wants to be the R2s, then dammit, the R2s it is.

This was my first real experience testing Charlie in front of a group of kids his own age. I was amazed by their reaction. They crowded around us like we were giving away ice cream – firing off question after question. They were fascinated.

"Whoa, cool! What's that thing? What's that? Does that hurt? Why are doing that? What's that tube? Whoa, you're brave!"

Even more amazing was that Charlie wasn't embarrassed nor did he feel the need to conceal his pump from the curious crowd. It's one of those moments as a parent when as much as you know your own kid, you just don't know which way it's going to go. Phew! He actually loved the attention.

At half-time, Charlie - normally painfully shy - yelled out, "Hey! Anyone wanna see me get tested?"

No Comment

Charlie's quarterly doctor's visit came and went about a week and-a-half ago, but I didn't feel like talking about it.

He hasn't gained any weight since December, but I didn't feel like talking about it.

He was as strong as ever while they took his blood, but I even didn't feel like talking about that.

His A1c was 9.6.

Nine point friggin' six!

Charlie's been on the pump for about 6 months. We're going in the wrong direction.

We're starting from scratch. A clean slate. Throwing away our gazillion insulin-to-carb ratios and basal rates. Fresh start. Talking with pump educator every day as if we just started on the pump.

Ever the optimist, I'm anxious to get to work on this new plan of attack.

Gotta go make my 10 am phone call to my wife to see if Charlie is in range 3 hours after breakfast. Crossing fingers.

Have a nice weekend.

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Blood sugar update: 158

BUT ... that was after 4 hours. After 2 hours, he was 400. That's the thing we've noticed about Charlie. He will eventually fall into range, but it usually takes 3 hours or more to get there. So, he's high for quite some time. Do most of you fall into range after 2 hours? I know adults and kids will differ on this. Also, curious to know what percentage of your total daily insulin is bolus and what is basal. That may be an issue for us as well as Charlie's intake is very bolus heavy.

Finsky

1) If you could have one super power what would it be and what would your Super Hero name be?

My first thought was the ability to fly. But thinking further, it could be a drag once the novelty of it wore off. At first, kids would be like, "hey, there he is!," jumping up and down and waving to me as I flew by. "Woohoo! Yay!" But after a while, they'd get bored of my aerial antics and make a sport out of my demise. They'd wait for me, hiding in bushes with BB guns and rocks, living out their video-game fantasies.

"This is Action News coming to you live from Marion County, Florida, where the infamous Flying Man has graced our skies for the last time - shot down by a 13-year-old Cub Scout. Just last week his left eye was shot out when flying over Bristol, UK. Recent reports indicated that he had been flying low and erratically the last few days leading to today's discovery in the Oklawaha River."

Breathing fire could also be cool if my kids are ever picked on at school.

"Dude, my dad could soooooooooooo melt you."

But, I'll have to go with the power to find missing socks. It's the most practical choice. Without exaggeration, I have about 18-20 stray socks. Not white athletic type socks. I mean Gap-type socks that I wear to work. Blue, brown, black, grey socks. A good 20 of them orphaned in my top drawer. It just doesn't make sense. Where could they ALL go? Drives me insane.

My name will have to be something clever yet intimidating. Masculine yet mysterious.

Sock-Finding Man.


2) If you could only listen to one band/singer for the rest of your life, who would it be and why? This one's easy. Neil Finn. His lyrics are beautifully descriptive and poetic, he constructs gorgeous melodies and his voice just magic.

From When You Come:

She came out of the water
Into my horizon
Like a cumulo nimbus
Coming in from a distance
Burning and exploding
Burning and exploding
Like a slow volcano

From Distant Sun:

Seven worlds will collide
Whenever I am by your side
And dust from a distant sun
Will shower over everyone

From Pineapple Head:

And if you choose to take that path
I will play you like a shark
And I'll clutch at your heart
I'll come flying like a spark to inflame you


3) When you were little what did you want to be when you grew up?

I wanted to play professional soccer for the New York Cosmos and be the fourth member of the rock band Rush.


4) If you could be another person for one day, who would it be and why? (they must be living in the present-day)

Hmm, does that mean the person would become me just as it happened in Like Father Like Son, starring the versatile Kirk Cameron and Dudley Moore or the movie Freaky Friday?

I would be Charlie for a day. A site-change day. I'd like to feel what he feels on a daily basis and give him a one day vacation from diabetes.

I'd be Susanne during childbirth. Ideally for one of my kids. Swollen boobs, contractions, fat ankles, needle in my spine … the whole kit and caboodle.

I'd be George W. Bush. I'd get into that itty bitty brain of his and have a change of heart by allowing federal funds for embryonic stem cell research.

5) How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsi roll pop?

It's a good question. An important question. I'm glad you asked. Unfortunately it will remain one of the world's great unsolved mysteries. I tried this experiment while carpooling to work with my friend Mike. Judging by the look he was giving me, it is not socially acceptable to repeatedly lick a lollypop in such a fashion. Better to just gnaw on it I learned. So there you have it. I still don't know how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsi roll pop and Mike is now afraid to get back in the car with me.

Thank you Penny for the great questions. This meme may have seriously run its course, but if you'd like some questions, send me your email.