Wednesday, November 29, 2006

C - A - T is CAT


A few months ago I transferred from working in Manhattan to a location much closer to home. I went from commuting 2 hours each way to 40 minutes. Thank heavens for that! It's a wide open office layout with workspaces very close to one another. For the most part I keep to myself and no one really knows me here. I'll warm up eventually, but for now that's just fine.

I imagine my co-workers must be perplexed when hearing my phone conversations with my wife. Ours is a language so commonplace to us yet foreign to others.

This is a fairly common dialogue from my end of the phone.

Hey.

How high is he?

Dammit.

Did he ever come down from breakfast?

Shit.

Do you think it's because of the site change?

I thought the reservoir looked fine.

No.

Yeah.

Uggh! He's crying?

Tell him he can't have a snack until he comes down.

How long ago did you test him?

OK, talk to you later. Yeah, pork chops will be fine.

So what can my co-worker Candice be thinking? I imagine it's a little something like this:

Wow, this new guy is really handsome. I mean if you're into that sort of Brad Pitt meets George Clooney meets Ralph Fiennes meets James Bond type of thing.

Still, dazzling good looks aside, there's something odd going on at home with this guy. Not sure what it is. At first I thought his son was having a pot smoking problem. But he has a picture of his son on his desk. He can't be more than 4 years old. Not possible, right? Though I think I'm starting see what's going on here.

I think they recently moved. They had a "site change" as he calls it. Apparently they uprooted the family from some place near a "reservoir" and now the son is really angry. So angry that he has climbed up somewhere very high like the roof of the house or a water tower. I'm not exactly sure where. All I know is he's been up there since breakfast and refuses to come down. Meanwhile it seems the wife is "testing" him while he's up there. Just insane! I mean seriously, lady! Get a ladder and get your son before he gets hurt. Now's not the time for C - A - T is CAT!

17 Comments:

At 9:50 AM, Blogger Chris said...

Oh MAN! That was super. I have been paitently waiting for a new post from you. And you did not dissapoint one bit!
I really like your spin on things and life in general.
Absolutey hillarious.

 
At 11:09 AM, Blogger Shannon said...

I guarantee that everyone one of us parents has a phone conversation with their spouse.

Although, I did have to roll my eyes at the "Brad Pitt meets George Clooney meets Ralph Fiennes meets James Bond type of thing", LOL.

My husband's coworker knew exactly who was calling him before my husband picked up his phone because I used to call at precisely the same times each day with glucose numbers.

 
At 11:13 AM, Blogger Shannon said...

I read your post about possibly dumping the pump.

DON'T DO IT!!!!!!!!!

It takes quite a while for adjustments to be far and few between....as in months or even a year.

Especially with your son only being 4 yrs old, tinkering with the pump settings is simply a fact of life as it still is with us and Brendon will be 7 in February....he's been on the pump for 3 years.

Stick it out.

 
At 11:59 AM, Blogger George said...

LOL that is sooo funny and so true. I wonder what people think here.

I am sure the handsome part is probably word for word here too! :)

j/k

 
At 12:42 PM, Blogger AmyT said...

Hi Carey,
Welcome to the diabetes OC! Have you found me yet over at www.diabetesmine.com? I've got 3 wonderful little girls, although I'm the one with the Big D. Just another walk on the wild side...

Thanks for another great blog.

 
At 1:11 PM, Blogger Chops said...

My co-workers would probably describe me as late Marlon Brando meets Tom Hanks meets a potato masher....so you're doing pretty good over there.

You can always mix it up a bit on the phone; after the wife hangs up you can pretend the convo is still going on and say things like:
"So...Can I dress like the French Maid tonight?"
or
"Don't forget to feed the gimp in the basement and let him out of the crate for some fresh air"
or
"Yeah everything's going well so far except that some girl named Candice is nosey and smells like cheese."

Any of those should be good ice-breakers for warming up to the co-workers.

 
At 3:48 PM, Blogger Minnesota Nice said...

You're got a great blog here. I don't have any kids myself (only the db) but can certainly say that all of the parents on the OC are devoted, determined and brilliant problem-solvers. Glad you're here.

Kathy

 
At 5:37 PM, Blogger Penny said...

That was so funny!! Thank you. I really needed that laugh right now.

 
At 7:00 PM, Blogger MileMasterSarah said...

haha! All the women at work know my daughter is diabetic, have since diagnosis. They are allmum's themselves, so when gracie was diagnosed it was a collective sigh of ickiness. anyhow, welcome! Glad I found your blog!

 
At 7:58 PM, Blogger Sandra Miller said...

Wonderful post, as usual.

You're dead on about those cryptic conversations.

Thanks for the laugh.. :-)

 
At 1:00 AM, Blogger cHoCoMiLkRoCkS said...

that was a great post. i guess it is quite for people who ain't got a clue. i love having our own secret language.

 
At 6:16 AM, Blogger Carey said...

Thanks all. And hello to some of you who I'm e-meeting for the first time. Thanks for stopping by. I'm sure I'll be dropping by your collective blogs.

Chris - I also anticipate your postings. Thanks a lot.

Shannon - Will take your advice on the pump to heart. Especially since it seems your son was just about Charlie's age when he started pumping.

Nice to meet you Amy, Kathy and Sarah.

 
At 10:56 AM, Blogger Poet with a Day Job said...

This cracks me up into a Million Little Pieces, and I'm not lying about that, Mr. Bond.

 
At 2:05 PM, Blogger Aunt Lynnie said...

Hysterical!! So glad to read that you always hold on to your comedic style throughout all the trying ups and downs.

Hey Shannon, he really does fall into the looks genre of Brad and George.....trust me....

I laugh thru my tears....looking out for your next post...

 
At 10:56 PM, Blogger Scott K. Johnson said...

Hi Carey,

Dropping by for my first time. I found your blog through Kerri's.

Great picture!

 
At 5:09 AM, Blogger Chrissie in Belgium said...

I found your blog at the OC. Keet the laughs coming!

 
At 6:56 PM, Blogger Kassie said...

excellent. next time I pause to worry what a non-d person thinks about my d-routine or d-lingo, I'll save myself from being annoyed with a similar imagined conversation!

 

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