There Was a Young Lad From PA

There's a great contest over at DIABETEStalkfest for funniest diabetes poem. I was very productive at work today.

There was a young lad from PA
Whose urine could fill a small bay
His mum feared the worst
When his insatiable thirst
Had him slurping from the bidet

When the doctors said he was Type 1
We all grew uncomfortably numb
We took the syringe
And together we cringed
As we plunged it right into his bum

His blood sugars have never been great
And we worry about Charlie's fate
But we don't need a cure
You see, my neighbor is sure
He'll outgrow the disease by age 8

My son wears a pump – Minimed
All these gadgets befuddle my head
I thought he was getting
A new basal setting
But I opened the garage door instead

But I tell you, this pump is premier
Its convenience I hold very dear
I just need to run
A cord through my son
And my TV comes in crystal-clear

I envision a day without shots
A diet of Skittles and Dots
And if he is high
There'll be no need to cry
It's just that he's smoking pot

There is a young lad from PA
Who hopes he'll be cured someday
He faces his plight
Like a brave Jedi Knight
And nothing will stand in his way