Tuesday, March 06, 2007


I'm a little late to the party on this tag from Kerri. Here it goes.

Seven Things To Do Before I Die:

1. Remember to unplug the iron.
2. Travel around the world with Susanne. Though not in a hot-air balloon.
3. See my children grown; meet my children's children.
4. Learn to snowboard; Go on snowboarding vacation with kids.
5. Write a great song. Write a great children's book.
6. Go white-water rafting along New Zealand's Kaituna River.
7. Save the cheerleader. Save the world.

Seven Things I Cannot Do:

1. Tie my shoes like an adult.
2. Snap my fingers like an adult.
3. Go one month without running out of gas.
4. Avoid sarcasm.
5. Make everyone happy. Though I try.
6. Count without using my fingers.
7. Speak publicly without nausea and loss of all motor skills.

Seven Things That Attract Me to… The Mr.

1. His red dragon tattoo.
2. His gentleness.
3. The smell of motorcycle exhaust and Tabasco sauce on his breath.
4. How he lifts me up in his big strong arms over puddles in the rain.
5. His ability to bounce his pectoral muscles up and down to Def Leppard's "Rock of Ages."
6. His bowling trophies.
7. Shoot! Was I supposed to change this question to "The Mrs.?" Yikes. How embarrassing.

Seven Things I Say:

1. “Oh for the love of God!”
2. “You get nothing. You lose. Good day, sir!” (Thanks Willy)
3. "You bet your sweet ass." (I'm lying. I don't say this. But dammit, I wish I did. Is there anything better than that? Am I gonna start using that line more often? Oh you bet your sweet ass.)
4. “Hey, it's me. I ran out of gas. I need you to come and get me.”
5. “Yes, I ran out of gas AGAIN.”
6. "No, not that mother-scratcher." (Thanks Coen brothers)
7. “I fucking hate diabetes!”

Seven Books That I Love:

1. Chronicle of a Death Foretold (Gabriel Garcia Marquez)
2. Death in the Andes (Mario Vargas Llosa)
3. Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim (David Sedaris)
4. Atticus (Ron Hansen)
5. The Things They Carried (Tim O'Brien)
6. Maus (Art Spiegelman)
7. The Beet Queen (Louise Erdrich)

Seven Movies That I’ve Loved (at different times and in no particular order):

1. Schindler's List
2. The Corpse Bride
3. This is Spinal Tap
4. Iron Giant
5. Shawshank Redemption
6. Amadeus
7. Rushmore


At 2:36 PM, Blogger Kerri. said...

You are the funniest mother-scratcher ever, dude. Did I laugh out loud while reading your Sevens? You bet your sweet ass I did.

At 3:37 PM, Blogger George said...

That was awesome. Thank you for cheering me up.

At 4:36 PM, Blogger Penny said...

Somehow you can always make me laugh.

When I got to the 7 things about the Mr. question, I had to scroll back up and make sure I was on the blog I thought I was.

Save the cheerleader, save the world. Ha! Nice one.

At 4:43 PM, Blogger Minnesota Nice said...

Carey -I have met Louise Erdrich. She has a book store about a mile from me that carries things mostly by and about Native Americans. Have you read The Antelope Wife, or The Master Butcher's Singing Club? Both really good.
I used to worry about the iron util I got one that automatically shut off. Now I worry about the oven.

At 5:10 PM, Blogger Chris said...

Holy laugh fest batman!
That was freaking hillariouis.
Im trying the Rock of Ages thing but all im getting is the sudden urge to pee.

At 8:08 PM, Blogger Vivian said...

I loved your Sevens!!! I also loved the comments you pulled by doing your Sevens. You guys are great.

At 8:57 PM, Blogger Scott K. Johnson said...

Oh lord - you are funny!!!!

That was awesome!.


At 7:07 AM, Blogger Carey said...

Thanks all you mother-scratchers. That was fun.

MN - Very cool that Ms. Erdrich is your neighbor. I also read The Bingo Palace and Tracks, but not the ones you mention. I'll have to check those out when I am again reading books again. Gimme about 7 to 12 years.

Chris - Careful. Don't hurt yourself.

At 9:08 AM, Blogger Sandra Miller said...

Damn funny, Carey.

Damn funny.

And hey, I love all of the movies on your list-- and am not in the least surprised that you're a fellow Sedaris fan.

At 11:13 AM, Blogger Chops said...

Oh I love lists. They always teach me something about the person no matter how long I've known them. Things I've learned about you today:
Maus- I absolutely adore this one. I never wanted it to end.
Willy- I want to be like him one day...or at least dress like him.
Gabriel Garcia Marquez- Still trying to finish One Hundred Years of Solitude. Maybe I will in 7 to 12 years.
Something about dragon tattos and Tabasco breath- Not sure I want to know any more about that.

You CAN go a month without running out of gas. You must believe. How will you save the world if you keep pulling off to the shoulder on the Garden State Pkwy?

At 11:28 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

That was a great list it made me laugh so thank you!katiexox

At 11:52 AM, Blogger Shannon said...

ROFLMAO....when I was reading the 7 attractive things, I was like "whoa...I could've sworn Carey was a man....where did I did I think wrong?"

Very entertaining...

At 11:58 AM, Blogger Poet with a Day Job said...

Cracking up at the running out of gas thing but I bet it is not nearly as funny in reality as in a list. Also, I often say "good day sir" to very large animals crossing my path. I cannot shake the primordial memory that we used to get eaten by very large animals. So when they are near me, I make a big arc around them and say "Good day sir!" And tip my top hat to them when I am wearing one, which is often.


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