Happy Birthday, Smoochy Cabrera!

Charlie ...

(a.k.a. "Choo Choo," a.k.a. "Chooch," a.k.a. "Charleston Chooch," a.k.a. "Charlie Horse," a.k.a. "Chachi," a.k.a. "Smooch," a.k.a. "Smoochy," a.k.a. "Smoochy Cabrera")

...turned 5 today. Happy Birthday, Charlie. We love you.

I Also Shuffle ... Trusted!

I spotted this at Nearest Distant Shore and Thyme Moves On. I just had to play. It doesn't always make sense, but it's pretty cool when it does.

The Rules:

Put your music player on shuffle.
Press forward for each question.
Use the song title as the answer to the question.

What does next year have in store for me?

Winning a battle, Losing the War – Kings of Convenience
(Yay, I win!!!!... Oh, crap!)


What's my love life like?

First of the Gang to Die - Morrissey
(Kinky. Don't ask)

What do I say when life gets hard?

As Sure as I am – Crowded House

What do I think of on waking up?

Hewlett's Daughter - Grandaddy
(Unfortunately, my father-in-law is not named Hewlett. I may have some explaining to do)

What song will I dance to at my wedding?

Tombstone – Crowded House
(Ah, cheerful. Father-in-law's choice)

What do I want as a career?

It Looks Like Love – Josh Rouse
(Well, the male escort business is quite lucrative)

Favorite saying?

Trusted - Ben Folds

Favorite place?

Somewhere Only We Know - Keane
(Cool!)

What do I think of my parents?

Ugly Love - Eels
(Cool again! Parents divorced when I was 7)

What's my pornstar name?

Wind Up – Foo Fighters
(The name's origin of course comes from a move I, uh, well, perfected)

Where would I go on a first date?

Don't Let Me Down - Beatles
(Exactly what happens when I attempt "The Wind Up")

Drug of choice?

Jetstream – New Order
(Slang for milk mixed with Mountain Dew. It's addictive)

Describe myself

No Reason – Ben Kweller
(Right on the mark. I'm completely unreasonable and according to the dictionary, I do not have a normal mental state.)

What is the thing I like doing most?

I summon You - Spoon
(That is, when I'm not summoning evil spirits)

What is my state of mind like at the moment?

Janice's Party – Fountains of Wayne
(Praying Janice has cereal storers this time. Tupperware parties rock! Also, I'd like to use my new favorite saying, "trusted," with rapper-like attitude. "Yo, Janice, these stackables are TRUSTED!"

How will I die?

Independence Day – Elliott Smith
(Damn. Death by firecracker. That gives me only 6 months. Damn! I need me some Jetstream quick. Trusted!)

Hopefully His Blah Blahs Will Be More Blah

I appreciate that friends ask routinely how Charlie is doing. I really do. I just don't know what to say anymore. I really don't know how he's doing.

"Well, he's not so good right this minute, but in 45 minutes to an hour he should be fine. Later tonight he'll be bad again for a while, but come morning, he should be good."

There's no short answer. There's no "fine" or "OK." I'm just tired of the long answer - hearing myself repeat the same thing every time someone asks.

"Well we have our blah blahs and our blah blahs. Today is a blah blah. Hopefully, now that he's on the blah, his blah blahs will be more blah."

At the playground the other day, Charlie hopped off his bike for a pit stop and a blood sugar check. He was 55. I gave him 4 ounces of grape juice and a couple crackers. Not too uncommon.

Charlie finished quickly and hopped back on his bike, pumping his small muscular legs to catch up to his sister who was rounding the far corner of the oval path. I stare at Charlie as he pedals. I zoom in on him closer. Closer. I stare with X-ray vision into his skin, down his esophagus and to his stomach. I scan his organs. What's it doing, I wonder. What's going on in there? Did his blood sugar slam the brakes with a screech and reverse direction when the juice came flowing in? Is he 75 now? Is he 40?

How many other dads at the playground are staring into their children's insides with X-ray vision while they play?

One night last week Charlie peed in his bed. I peeled off his wet pajamas and walked him into the bathroom. With no clothing for Charlie to fasten to, I held his pump and walked behind him like he was a dog on a leash. Charlie was whimpering and half-asleep throughout the whole episode. Seemed surreal.

I really don't know how he's doing.

The Best Thing Since Sliced Chicken Breast

Charlie ate a sliced chicken breast sandwich! He ... (tears) ate ... (more tears) sliced chicken (sobbing now) breast! Maybe you didn't hear me. Charlie ate a sandwich comprised of SLICED CHICKEN BREAST!!!!

Big friggin' deal you may be saying. My kid just ate lamb brain, you may be saying. Woop de doo, you may be saying.

OK, background information.

Charlie has one free food. One. White American cheese. For my non-diabetic visitors, that means a food that has little or no effect on his blood sugar. Since tiny teeth emerged from his gums and since a day when he sat in his own urine, his lunch choice has been simply square slabs of white American cheese. He has had roughly 1,255 cheese sandwiches for lunch in a row. A streak that looked like it would never be broken. And when he was hungry but too high to eat anything, American cheese was our only snack option as well. I could do siding on my house three times over with the amount of cheese he's eaten. I wouldn't of course. Just saying I could. Well, I couldn't, but a contractor could. A very, very desperate contractor.

Over three and a half years, it's difficult to keep things interesting. Cheese sandwich cut in triangles. Cheese sandwich cut in rectangles. Cheese sandwich cut in diamonds, clubs, hearts, spades. Cheese sandwich cut in the shape of a cross (God bless this sandwich), peace sign, Blogger logo. Cheese sandwiches stacked like a tower, angled like a teepee, ascending like a staircase.

Charlie won't eat anything. And he's cunning. If you try too hard, you've lost the sale. Jello, a favorite free food for many diabetics, was one that got away. Ha! Look at it Charlie. Look how it wobbles! Look how it jiggles! Isn't it awesome? Man, it's awesome! What does it taste like? It's like a cherry lollypop only better. It wiggles. It dances. Can you believe it? Food that dances? And I'll let you in on a little secret, but don't tell anyone. Darth Vader likes Jello. Try it. Try it! TRY IT!

He stuck his finger it. Took one nibble and then passed. I overdid it. Opportunity wasted.

Charlie says "blech," and "ewww" and "yuck" and holds his nose while even the most glorious aromas are wafting throughout the house. I'm not talking brussels sprouts here folks. Home made apple pie. Thanksgiving turkey. Ribeye steak. I'm telling you he's a superfreak, superfreak, he's super freaky.

So, imagine my joy when Charlie just very unceremoniously decided to sample a small sliver of sliced chicken breast. The verdict came back with a thumbs up and a smile.

Even better, he didn't charge us his normal "trying something new" fee of $5.

D-Tour: Something Other Than Diabetes

A few work friends and I traditionally share our "best of" CDs at the year's end. I thought I'd also share this with my new D-Blog friends and any other stragglers that may stumble upon Up High ... Down Low. I'm sure we don't all share the same musical taste, but this year's list is somewhat eclectic. A little something for everyone if you care to look into these artists a little further.

Charlie is partial to British pop and he would likely have gone with Keane's Under the Iron Sea. But then Gnarls Barkley came along with this ....

A string section of imperial officers? Stormtroopers on guitars? Chewy on the drums? Are you kidding me? Charlie went frickin' nuts.

I got Maeve her first real CD for Christmas. By real, I mean one that doesn't have princesses on the cover. I got her the Beatles' Red Album. Figured a great place to start. Susanne called me up at work my first day back after the holiday and told me that Maeve was sitting all alone on her bed with her little CD player, bopping her head up and down and coming in on the choruses of "Eight Days a Week." I admit I got a bit teary. She seems to have also inherited my father's knack for mangling song lyrics as much as song lyrics can be mangled. Obviously not a new release, but new to Maeve and a favorite of 2006.

Baby Ben hasn't expressed his fave of 2006, but the nipper likes to shake it to just about anything. I could have an asthma attack and he'd promptly do the robot.

So, that's what the kids are listening to. Here's what I liked in 2006.

My Top 10 CDs of 2006

1. Jon Auer - Songs From the Year of Our Demise

2. The Decemberists - The Crane Wife

3. Calexico - Garden Ruin

4. Rodrigo y Gabriela - Rodrigo y Gabriela

5. Long Winters - Putting the Days to Bed

6. Easy Star All-Stars - Radiodread

7. Josh Rouse - Subtitulo

8. M. Ward - Post-War

9. Snow Patrol - Eyes Open

10. Thom Yorke - The Eraser